GEOVICTWARDIANISM

The Guide to Being...

Geovictwardianism celebrates the idiosyncratic and the independent, the eccentric and the unusual.

ALBION awaits the events of the evening.

It is a movement which recognises that the euphemism of 'the deconstructed look' and the so called fashion industry are icons not so much to be smashed, as to be replaced by something better.

There follows a guide which is intended to assist the intrepid adventurer in uncovering the Geovictwardian in himself or herself. No particular order of importance is followed. There is no 'A' list or 'B' list in Geovictwardianism, which is the essence of egalitarianism, but is the antithesis of levelling down (also known as dumbing down).

Geovictwardian men wear or use all or some of the following:
waistcoats (often double breasted);
Cut away shirt collars;
Cuff links;
Ties and cravats;
Shoes (not trainers unless in which to exercise);
Natural fibres like wool, cotton, linen and silk;
Contrasting fabrics and materials with colour and depth, such as velvet, leather, satin, corduroy, tweed, moleskin;
Trousers (never denim jeans);
Jackets, traditionally known as coats (never blousons);
Hats and caps;
Pocket or fob watches (not wrist watches) on Albert chains;
Rings, bracelets and necklaces;
Tie pins but not tie slides;
Handkerchiefs for actual use and for decoration;
Wallets or money clips;
Fountain pens or propelling pencils or quality ball point pens;
Metal lighters or metal match boxes hung from a chain;
Pea jackets;
Real blazers;
Functioning four button cuffs on their coat or jacket sleeves;
Overcoats;
Covert coats;
Velvet collars;
Contrasting collars;
Turn ups on their trousers and on their jacket sleeves;
Cologne or fragrance which suits their skin type;
Cigarette or cigar cases filled with quality cigarettes or cigars (and this avoids seeing the 'You will die' notices on the boxes and is an elegant and practical way to store your smokes if you indulge in the weed);
Green or black Wellington boots (gum boots);
Well designed mobile telephones (but without the crass ring tones);
A haircut which suits them;
A raffish grin.

ALBION after a strenuous day of drinking gin and tonic at Henley Regatta.

Geovictwardian women wear or use some or all of the following:
Seamed or patterned stockings (very occasionally tights);
Suspender belts;
Basques;
Bustiers;
Satin knickers of varying shapes and designs;
Underwired brasieres;
Shoes or boots with heels of at least 3 inches;
Trouser suits;
Full cut, full length skirts;
Pretty lace blouses with frills;
Leather trousers;
Trench coats;
Plastic or PVC mackintoshes;
Tweed suits;
Hats and caps;
Veils and fascinators;
Jewellery, including earrings;
Makeup;
Cologne;
Well cut and well styled hair (regularly groomed);
An engaging smile.

ALBION and MR. DAVID GLENN
out for the evening in Covent Garden.

Geovictwardians never wear:
Any garment with a visible label or logogram or brand. They will buy the clothes and remove the label, then wear the clothes.

Geovictwardians avoid:
Man made fibres (unless mixed appropriately with natural ones, to give strength);
Synthetic anything (especially people);

Geovictwardians enjoy:
A good conversation and decent company;
Gratifying and rewarding sex of various descriptions;
Creating art;
Appreciating art;
Inventing;
Studying inventions;
History and visiting historic places;
Geography and visiting fascinating places;
Culture;
Original thought;
Indecent excess when required;
Real ale;
Single malt Scotch whisky;
Anything well made;
Craftsmanship;
Tender loving care;
Responsibility and irresponsibility, as the situation dictates;
Meeting people who are not boors or bores;
Style;
A colourful life.

The MAD HATTER.

Geovictwardians admire:
Any job well done;
Anything well designed;
Anything built to last;
Craftsmanship;
Quality;
All or nothing;
Prowess in any activity;
Determination and tenacity;
Speed;
Skill;
Versatility;
Success in the face of adversity;
Survival.

Geovictwardians abhor:
Giving up;
A weak will;
Unnecessary violence, either physical or emotional;
Ignorance and intolerance;
Prejudice;
Bloated plutocrats;
Inverted snobs;
Fools (they will not suffer them at all);
Dodgy geezers;
Whores who do not practise cleanliness;

Geovictwardians are not:
Teddy boys;
Fops;
Effete snobs;
Dandies;
Style or fashion victims;
Slaves to any one designer;
Heathcliff or D'Arcy or any Jane Austen/Bronte throw back;
Obsessed with their appearance - they care about it, which is different;
Bigots;
Drama queens;
Show offs;
Class conscious (they defy convention and all notions of class);

Geovictwardians go to:
The theatre;
The cinema;
Real night clubs;
Country pubs;
Light opera;
Rock music concerts;
Performances by any virtuoso performer from any discipline, be it dance, music, comedy, etc;
The seaside;
The countryside;
Old places;
Historic places;
Haunted houses;
Museums followed by a session at a restaurant or bar;
Older parts of towns and cities;
The Hellfire Club;
The Dragon Club.

Geovictwardians live in:
Unusual flats (never apartments);
Curious houses;
Mansions (occasionally);
Castles (sometimes);
Converted lighthouses;
Converted schools;
Any buildings which were once used for something other than to live in;
Any quirky, original dwelling, regardless of age.

Geovictwardians do not live in:
New towns;
Suburbia;
Unless they have no choice.

Geovictwardians go on holiday to:
All parts of the British Isles, plus the Republic of Ireland;
European cities and towns for extended weekend breaks;
Places in countries on The Grand Tour itinerary;
Anywhere with beautiful countryside and ancient or fascinating places to visit;

Geovictwardians do not go on holiday to:
Any country controlled by an oppressive regime, unless they are under cover and, like the Scarlet Pimpernel or James Bond, are on a mission to save innocent victims;
Certain commercialised resorts world wide - you will know them when you see the brochures;
Anywhere too hot, unless on a mission;
Anywhere too cold, unless on a mission;

Geovictwardian icons:
Men
Sherlock Holmes;
Adam Adamant;
John Steed;
Simon Templar;
William Morris;
A.J.Raffles;
The Monocled Mutineer;
Winston Churchill;
The British Tommy and any heroic soldier who fights for what he truly believes in, from whatever country or era;
James Bond;
The Green Man;
King Arthur;
Robin Hood;
Oscar Wilde;
Beau Brummell;
John Bull.

ALBION has a dark side.

Women
Emeline Pankhurst;
Boudicca;
The Earth Goddess;
Florence Nightingale;
Marie Curie;
Joan of Arc;
She Who Must be Obeyed;
Elizabeth the First;
Mata Hari;
Pussy Galore;
The women who keep the home fires burning whilst the Tommies go off to war;
Any woman who fills the place of a man and does a better job;
The pirate queen Anne Bonny;
Cleopatra;
Barbarella.

ALBION examining the structure of a speck of falling dust.

Some Geovictwardian pursuits and pastimes:
Doing a job well for the sake of doing a job well;
Dressing well and going out to somewhere interesting;
Shooting (clay pigeons), climbing, hill walking, archery, fencing, caving, walking in the countryside or the old parts of town, visiting ancient sites such as Avebury or Stonehenge and speculating about it all;
Self improvement;
Watching television selectively.

Geovictwardians:
Care about their appearance, but they care more about their character and manners;
Have every regional accent imaginable - but they all sound as if they are intelligent, witty, charming and enjoying life;
Will get their hands dirty and will see a job through to the end;
Keep physically fit, not by working out at the gym, but by exercising naturally in the open air, or by dancing in a night club. They exercise in unbranded genuine army surplus gear;
Are not prudish about life;
Explore consensual sexual activity including the unusual;
Enjoy anything which pleasantly surprises;
Are a broad church;
Respect the wishes of others.

Geovictwardians will:
Defend an innocent person attacked in the street, in the media, or attacked generally, always;
Fight any enemy;
Speak from the heart;
Listen to criticism;
Strive for perfection;
Drink hard when appropriate;
Experiment with life;
Enjoy and explore sex, without shame;
Respect other people and their views, but fight like the devil to defend their own;
Form lasting relationships;
Have one night stands;
Live the paradox.

J.D. You looking at me?

Geovictwardians will not:
Kick a dog (unless it is attacking them);
Fail to give up their seat on public transport, to an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone less able to stand than them;
Pick on someone because of their size or physical appearance;
Fear evil;
Go out into the street looking like something that the cat dragged in;
Fail to shave (unless they have beards or carefully cropped facial hair);
Have body piercing, unless unobtrusive;
Have tattoos, unless meaningful, permanent and unobtrusive;
Brag about money, sexual experience, their car, their life;
Make anyone feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, unless in self defence.

Geovictwardians are:
Radical;
Contemporary;
Aware of their past;
Living in the present;
Looking to the future.

Frisax, Geovictwardian street team ambassador.

Geovictwardians are not:
Reactionary;
Humbugs;
Capable of making empty gestures;
Stuck in a time warp.

Geovictwardians Read:
Memoirs of a Georgian Rake by William Hickey.
The Age of Scandal by T.H.White.
All of the Sherlock Holmes books by Arthur Conan Doyle.
All of the A.J.Raffles books by E.W.Hornung.
All of the books by Charles Dickens.
All of the works by William Shakespeare.
The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer.
All of the Arthurian myths, legends and stories, especially (but not exclusively) Morte D'Arthur by Thomas Mallory.
The Oxford English Dictionary.

Geovictwardian films:
Shall We Dance (1937) directed by Mark Sandrich.
The Dawn Patrol (1938) directed by Edmund Goulding.
The Sea Hawk (1940) directed by Michael Curtiz.
School for Scoundrels (1959) directed by Robert Hamer.
North West Frontier (1959) directed by J. Lee Thompson.
Zulu (1964) directed by Cy Endfield.
The Man Who Would Be King (1975) directed by John Huston.
The Thirty Nine Steps (1978) directed by Don Sharp.
The First Great Train Robbery (1978) directed by Michael Crichton.
Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) directed by Gore Verbinski.
Master and Commander (2004) directed by Peter Weir.

MR. CARLTON SANDERCOCK. Rock and roll ain't worth the name if it don't make you strut.

Geovictwardian television:
1960s.
The Avengers (ABC Television).
Adam Adamant Lives! (BBC).
The Saint (ITC).
The Prisoner (ITC/Everyman Films).

1970s.
Raffles (Yorkshire Television).

1980s.
Sherlock Holmes (Granada).
Robin of Sherwood (HTV).

1990s.
Sharpe (Carlton).

Geovictwardian Anthems.
British air raid sirens from World War Two.
"Rumble" performed by Link Wray.
"Fool for Your Loving" performed by Whitesnake.
"Danse Macabre" by Saint-Saens.
"The Thrill of it All" performed by Roxy Music.
"Both Ends Burning" performed by Roxy Music.
"Eat the Rich" performed by Motorhead.
"Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis" by Vaughan Williams.
"Fantasia on Greensleaves" by Vaughan Williams.
"Jerusalem" music by Hubert Parry words by William Blake.
The original James Bond theme.
"Enigma Variations" by Edward Elgar.
"The Ride of the Valkyries" by Richard Wagner.
"Take Five" performed by the Dave Brubeck Quartet.
"All the Time in the World" performed by Louis Armstrong.
The Mr. Benn theme.
"High Wire", the theme from "Danger Man"
performed by the Edwin Astley Orchestra.
"I Want it All" performed by Queen.
"We Will Rock You" performed by Queen.

Geovictwardian Aphorisms and Epigrams:
Play the game for the game's sake.
There is the way that it should be and there is the way that it is.
It is not over until it is over.
If there is doubt, there is no doubt.
To learn it, your must over learn it.
To win the war, you must always win at least one battle - the last battle.
To deny the differences between people is to deny the truth.
Never say die.
Be cool, but care.
Celebrate the differences between people.
Never give up The Quest.
Always yield in the unimportant, but never yield in the important.
Tolerance is the true hallmark of a decent society.
Without humour, the world is too serious a place.
Do a job for the sake of doing it well.

Just as the New Romantics followed hot on the heels of Punk, so Geovictwardians will emerge from the current mess.